I'm Feeling the Love

Creating exciting, innovative training that also educates and informs the audience is no small task. To educate and inform the audience and take it one step further to the realm of creating change past the workshop is the star prize for a trainer.

One of the best trainers I have ever seen is Jac Patrissi. She is a super talent when it comes to training and so much more. By attending her workshops and consulting with her to prepare my own designs for workshops, I have been able to advance my own skills as a trainer.

Jac Patrissi's unique gift is her compassion for audiences searching to learn and grow. It shines through in all of her workshops and consulting.

You can learn more about Jac Patrissi at www.ethicalconversations.com.

Trauma and Recovery

If you want to understand traum and the recovery process for survivors of abuse, there is no better book than Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman, MD. I highly recommend it. If you are over 4o like me - go to the drug store first and get your 1.o glasses! Very tiny print.

More coming soon about trauma and recovery.

More Than A Few Good Men

If you have never heard Jackson Katz, you are missing out. He is a skilled trainer with valuable information on how men can be allies to end men's violence against women.

He will be presenting on March 4th in Charlotte, NC.

Here are the details:

UNC Charlotte’s Department of Criminal Justice, Women’s and Gender Studies Program, N.C. Providers of Abuser Treatment & Mecklenburg County Community Support Services present:

A workshop/training by Jackson Katz, Ed.M.

“More Than a Few Good Men:
Strategies for Inspiring Men and Boys to be Allies in Gender Violence Prevention”

March 4th 8:30- 12:30
UNC Charlotte Cone University Center

Social Work CEUs will be provided.

Registration information:
Registration on or before 2/27 is $65 (check or credit card)
On-site registration is $85 (check only)

To register:
Click here

https://ecom.uncc.edu/C21561_ustores/web/store_main.jsp?STOREID=20&SINGLESTORE=true

Space is limited so register now!

Upcoming Conference

I will be presenting at the upcoming 5th Annual Ending the Silence Conference in Fayetteville, NC

Here are the details:
Southern Regional AHEC is hosting their 5th Annual Ending the Silence Conference on May 7 & 8, 2009. The focus this year is on Domestic Violence in the lives adolescents and youths and the impact on both the individual and family. The two-day conference will address dating violence, primary prevention of domestic violence, prevention curriculum focusing on dating violence prevention, teen drug use, and cyberbully. Professionals in the field of nursing, mental health, law enforcement, social work, psychology, school personnel, and others working with adolescents are welcome. Click here to access brochure and registration information.

NC Laws

Jamal Butler, past band director at Southern High School, has been charged with sexual offense for allegedly having intercourse with two 16 year old students. The story in the News and Observer is here: http://www.newsobserver.com/978/story/1405514.html

According to accounts in the e-newsletter from NCCASA, "North Carolina has one of the toughest laws on teachers, coaches and other school personnel having sex with students. Under the law, if a school employee is more than four years older than the student, having sexual relations with a student is a felony regardless of consent."

NC is not a state that is usually considered on the cutting edge. This law acknowledges the power imbalance that is inherent in a teacher/student relationship, especially when the age difference is this pronounced.

Feel the Love

I'm headed to Myrtle Beach, SC to run in a half marathon tomorrow morning at 6:30am! Thank goodness the forecast calls for a low of 51 the night before.

I'm running with my running partner, Michelle. We've been running together since 2002. This is what I wrote in her Valentine's card: Running: The New Therapy.

Long runs allow for time to think and process. Running with a close friend allows time to share our lives and get much needed support along with physical fitness - a winning combination.

What helps you go the distance?

Memories

Quite a few books exist about painful childhood experiences and how people remember, process and heal from those memories. Some people do not have access to those memories and others wish they did not have access to those memories.

I'm more interested in the ability of humans to access the connection of memories with life's current situations. Sometimes that's the part that people can't remember or keep in consciousness - how their past experiences are influencing the here and now. More healing lies in that nexus.

As I am writing this, I am listening to Echo and the Bunnymen. The song is King of your Castle. Interesting how many songs are out there about domestic violence. Click on the link above for lyrics.

language

The author, Derrick Jensen, writes eloquently about language in his book, A Language Older Than Words. He writes, "There is a language older and deeper by far than words. It is the language of bodies, of body on body, wind on snow, rain on trees, wave on stone. We do not even remember that it exists."

He goes on to state, "In order for us to maintain our way of living, we must, in a broad sense, tell lies to each other, and especially to ourselves. It is not necessary that the lies be particularly believable. The lies act as barriers to truth. These barriers to truth become necessary because without them many deplorable acts would become impossibilities."

The denial of battering, abuse and its dynamics creates harm beyond the words and the blows. And the harm isn't just stemming from the denial within families, it's the denial that permeates every level of our culture.

To state the truth about battering would make it become an impossibility.

If we all woke up and came out of our denial chambers about domestic violence, it would become impossible for abusers to commit acts like Dennis Shaw. He was sentenced this week to 18 years in prison for the murder of Rhonda Barnes. He murdered her by beating her and pouring acid on her. (Johnston County, NC)

So many slogans about domestic violence talk about silence. It's not silent. It's loud and clear. Our denial of the screams and pleas for help is what is silent. Saying that domestic violence thrives in silence is just so much sophisticated victim blaming. Domestic violence thrives in the midst of our denial. We deny that a church-going man could beat his wife. We deny that a mother could beat her child with PVC pipe. We deny that domestic violence happens in front of 3 to 10 million children every year. If we admit that at all, it somehow is always some family on the other side of our railroad tracks - and therefore not our problem.

It was time to wake up to the truth of domestic violence a long time ago. The alarm went off for us ages ago. We just keep hitting the snooze button thinking it will go away. Our denial allows domestic violence to happen. It's time to listen to the language older than words. The language of truth. In this case, the truth about domestic violence.