Children

All the buzz is about the mom who gave birth to octuplets. She has 6 other children. The doctors involved in her births had this to say:

"Who am I to say that six is the limit?" said Dr. Jeffrey Steinberg, medical director of Fertility Institutes, which has clinics in Los Angeles, Las Vegas and New York City. "There are people who like to have big families."

What a ridiculous comment. As if a fertility clinic and multiple births is the only way to have a big family. Who is he to stand in the way of a woman having a large family? The real question is: Who is he to manipulate her body to have 8 babies at once? I'd like to see him pull that off. Not to mention the stress of raising 8 babies. They describe all the babies as healthy but they also say they will be in the hospital for at least one week. Last I checked, healthy babies go home within 24 hours of their birth. Hmm, what does that medical bill look like? Fertility clinics are perfect - for doctors. They have set up their own cottage industry to keep the medical professionals busy and well-paid. I wonder if she's raising her 14 children on a doctor's salary.

Well, he's nobody to say that 6 is the limit. He is somebody to question why he devotes his medical knowledge to creating multiple births when we know of the ongoing medical problems of children from mulitple births. He is somebody to promote adoption and foster parenting for the millions of unwanted children in the United States.

Dr. James Grifo, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the NYU School of Medicine, added: "I don't think it's our job to tell them how many babies they're allowed to have. I am not a policeman for reproduction in the United States. My role is to educate patients."

What a bunch of poppycock! It's true that his role is not a policeman, but he's acting more like God. It's a straw man argument. The issue is not whether or not this woman should have 8 children and whether or not he should stop her. The issue is whether or not our society needs to offer boutique medical services like fertility clinics that put women and children at risk for medical, economic, and social problems.

The doctors are trying to say that the babies are all healthy. The research is ample about the ptential medical, economic and social problems these children will face for their entire lives. Our society gets up in arms over a poor woman having children one after the other, but we have a big, positive feeding frenzy when someone uses boutique medical techniques to have 8 babies at one time.

The Hidden Casualties of War

Last night, CBS Evening News aired a story about domestic violence in the US Military. A follow up story will air tonight. It's interesting that the story is titled, The Hidden Casualties of War. Domestic violence is not as hidden as people say that it is.

Many victims do come forward for help, but they are turned away. They are told to try harder, pray harder, or sometimes they are told to "just leave."

It's not a simple event to leave an abusive partner. It takes time, money, resources, and safety planning. And with all of that, sometimes it can still lead to more misery, abuse, stalking, and sometimes death.

And oftentimes when victims do come forward they are not made aware that domestic violence is a crime and that there are civil and criminal remedies. They are not offered counseling, safety planning, or shelter. Not every victim keeps her abuse a secret. Sometimes it's the community that is keeping domestic violence a secret and not offering help, support, and most importantly: accountability of abusers.

To view the story on CBS Evening News, go to: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/01/28/eveningnews/main4761199.shtml

Homicides and Women

Information from "Speak Up" from the Family Violence Prevention Fund.

FIREARMS, PARTNERS CAUSE MOST MURDERS OF WOMEN

In 2006, 1,836 females in the United States were murdered in cases in which a single male offender killed a single female victim. In nine out of ten of these cases (92 percent), the victim was murdered by someone she knew. Three in five victims who knew their attackers were wives, ex-wives or intimate partners of their killers, and 16 percent were shot and killed during an argument.
Those are major findings from the Violence Policy Center’s latest report, When Men Murder Women: An Analysis of 2006 Homicide Data. It is based on data from the FBI’s unpublished Supplementary Homicide Report. Researchers examined cases of homicides involving one female murder victim and one male offender. They found that more than 12 times as many females were murdered by a male they knew than were killed by a male stranger.
The study finds that firearms were, by far, the most common weapon used by males to murder females, and were involved in 54 percent of these homicides. “The picture that emerges from When Men Murder Women is that women face the greatest threat from someone they know, most often a spouse or intimate acquaintance, who is armed with a gun,” the report says. “For women in America, guns are not used to save lives, but to take them.”
In 2006, the national rate of women killed by men in single victim/single offender incidents was 1.29 out of 100,000. Nevada ranked highest of all states with a murder rate (3.27 per 100,000) more than two and a half times the national average. Ranked behind Nevada were South Carolina, Alabama, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Vermont, Texas, Arkansas, Arizona and Tennessee.
When Men Murder Women is available at www.vpc.org/studies/wmmw2008.pdf.

Human Rights for All Humans

From Family Violence Prevention Fund's "Speak Up" e-newsletter:
At her confirmation hearing Tuesday, Senator and Secretary of State nominee Hillary Rodham Clinton spoke powerfully about improving the lives and strengthening the rights of women and children around the world. In her introductory remarks to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Senator Clinton said: “ Our foreign policy must reflect our deep commitment to the cause of making human rights a reality for millions of oppressed people around the world. Of particular concern to me is the plight of women and girls, who comprise the majority of the world’s unhealthy, unschooled, unfed, and unpaid. If half of the world’s population remains vulnerable to economic, political, legal, and social marginalization, our hope of advancing democracy and prosperity will remain in serious jeopardy. We still have a long way to go and the United States must remain an unambiguous and unequivocal voice in support of women’s rights in every country, every region, on every continent.”

Right on, sister! And, the battered women's movement needs to examine the ways that it contributes to the pink ghetto - including low salaries for crisis line and shelter workers, offering little to no benefits, excluding third shift shelter workers from training opportunities, asking formerly battered women to present at workshops and speak to the media for no compensation.

2008 in review

I finally purchased my 2009 calendar and that prompted me to go through my 2008 calendar. Here is my 2008 year of training in review with date, location, group, and number of participants.

January 24, Ft. Bragg, Family Advocacy Program, 75
February 25, Raleigh, NC State Univsersity, Women's Center, 10
March 13, Raleigh, NCVAN Certification, 25
March 25, Monroe, Law Enforcement, 60
March 26, Monroe, Law Enforcement, 50
April 9, Alleghany County, Allied Professionals, 50
April 10, Alleghany County, Allied Professionals, 50
April 17, Chapel Hill, UNC Horizons Conference, 50
April 17, Chapel Hill, UNC Horizons Conference, 50
April 24, New Bern, NC Dept. of Correction, 20
May 8, Boone, Law Enforcement, 15
May 9, Boone, Law Enforcement, 15
May 17, Nash County, survivor workshop, 5
May 18, Nash County, survivor workshop, 5
June 4, Chapel Hill, UNC School of SW, 100
June 10, Salisbury, NC Dept. of Correction, 50
June 11, Whiteville, NC Dept. of Correction, 60
June 19, Nash County, NC Dept. of Correction, 70
August 14, Raleigh, Media workshop, 10
August 19, Moore County, allied professionals, 40
August 20, Greensboro, MRS Institute, 20
September 6, Brentwood, MD, crisis center, 23
September 7, Brentwood, MD, crisis center, 23
September10, Lake Junaluska, NC CAC Conference, 45
September 18, Sunset Beach, NCVAN conference, 45
September 18, Sunset Beach, NCVAN conference, 10
October 9, Raleigh, NCVAN certification, 25
October 30, Atlantic Beach, NC Probation and Parole, 25
October 30, Atlantic Beach, NC Probation and Parole, 25
November 11, Monroe, Media workshop, 8
November 17, Wilkesboro, CAC center, 120
December 15, Durham, Union Baptist Church Vigil, 60

Total people trained: 1239 at 32 workshops

One of my favorite training moments in 2008 was in Moore county when a law enforcement officer shared that he realized the harm of some of his comments to battered women. He made a commitment to relate to victims in new and different ways based on what he learned in the workshop.

I'm looking forward to 2009 and many more workshops!