What Can Happen in 10 Days?

The last ten days have been horrific for many families in Charlotte, NC. In ten days, three different boyfriends have been charged with the murder of their girlfirend and in one instance, it appears that the boyfriend also shot the woman's 15 year old son, who passed away a day later.

Remember Their Names

Rochelle Woyee, 19
murdered on December 4, 2008
Elizabeth Michelle Elder, 38
murdered on December 11, 2008
Gabrille Kinard, 38
murdered on December 13, 2008
Anjelo Kinard, 18
shot on December 13, 2008, passed away on December 14, 2008

What Can Happen in 10 Days?
Today is December 16, 2008. What will you do between now and December 26? Would you be willing to commit to do 10 acts in 10 days if it would help to end domestic violence?
Here are 10 suggestions:
1. Make a financial contribution to your local domestic violence crisis center. I'm partial to Interact, where I worked for 9 years. www.interactofwake.org And, while you are at it, why do it only once, donate on a regular basis. Abuse happens every day of the year.
2. Visit the website of your local domestic violence crisis center and read about what services they offer.
3. If you have teen children, sit down together and ask them how they would define a healthy relationship. You might be surprised at what you hear. Ask them if they know what dating violence is. (you may want to read up first before you go there)
4. Volunteer at your local domestic violence program. If you don't feel like you are cut out for domestic violence work, consider serving on the board of directors or offer to help with paintingor repairs.
5. Be good to your spouse, mate, and children. You are a role model to those around you. Your children learn how to act in intimate relationships by watching you.
6. Write a letter to the editor about domestic violence. Be the voice against domestic violence.
7. Offer to mentor a child. Research shows that mentoring makes a difference in the lives of children. Child witnesses of battering need positive role models - and especially positive male role models.
8. Pick up a book and learn more about domestic violence. The first book about domestic violence was written in 1972, but now there are many books. One that will particularly help you to understand this crime, is Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft. www.lundybancroft.com
9. Consider your by-stander behavior. How many times have you seen someone mistreat their spouse or partner in public and you turned away? How many times have you seen a woman with bruises on her face or arms and you acted like she wasn't there or that her bruises weren't there? Or you saw others look at her with scorn as though she did something wrong?
10. Call a domestic violence crisis center and say, "thank you!" Say thank you to the staff, volunteers, and advocates who work everyday with adult and child victims of abuse. Say thank you to them for getting up in the middle of the night to bring a woman and her children into the shelter. Say thank you for meeting a rape survivor at the hospital. Say thank you for going to court with a battered woman. Better yet, stop by in person and say thank you. Put them on your Christmas list and bring them some cookies, chocolate, nuts, or fruit and say, I just wanted to thank you for what you do to make my community a safer place for everybody.