Flee Factor

How is your flee factor?
Are you any good at getting out of bad situations? Like when you get stung by a hornet?
What about when you are with an abusive partner?

Yesterday, I was sharing a story with a friend of mine about being stung multiple times by hornets and taking more than a moment to get away from them. My friend joked that my "flee factor" was kind of slow in this situation. It's so true, I was slow to realize how severe my reaction was to the stings.

It's common knowledge among advocates and survivors that abusers bait their victims into relationships by pouring on the charm and seeming like a nice, caring mate. It's only after the initial attraction and connection that abusive behavior shows up. And yes, it's true that abusers sometimes show lots of red flags early in the relationship. Partners sometimes heed those red flags are sometimes ignore them.

The flee factor comes into play after a mate shows their true nature of having a need for power and control in the relationship. Or after you spot the red flags that you are with a hornet who is going to sting you - repeatedly.

It can be dangerous to flee an abuser. When battered women are murdered, it's usually after they leave an abuser or while they are in the process of leaving. That doesn't change the element within ourselves: our ability to detect when it's time to make a plan of escape and to execute that plan. Is your flee factor sharp or is it like a dull knife that can't cut paper? Are you slow to recognize danger and warning signs that it's time to get away or are you quick to see that it's time to get out and get away? How is your "flee factor?"