Something We Don't Talk About

I have been following the news about Lynn Paddock's trial in the News and Observer for the past few days. Ms. Paddock is on trial for first degree murder of her son, Sean.

When we read stories about a mother tormenting, torturing, and ultimately killing her child, we are shocked and appalled. We search for answers and understanding. Many times the stories of mothers abusing and killing their children receive more indepth press coverage than fathers who murder their children. It's because of the unexpected. It's our society's view that a mother will always nurture and care for children. We don't always have that same view or expectation of fathers.

It's unnerving to read about a mother like Lynn Paddock and her murder trial. The stories of her parenting fly in the face of what our society wants to believe about women and mothers. We have to be willing to see women and mothers for all of their possibilities; we have to be willing to see their full spectrum of behaviors. It's a disservice to children to see any parent as all good or all bad.

It's important that we not make a bigger example of her or any mother and not punish more harshly, more severly simply because of her gender. The punishment needs to be based on the crime, regardless of gender.

Something that I notice in these articles about Ms. Paddock is that no excuses are offered up to explain her bahavior. Her behavior is described: "binding him in blankets", "lashings with plastic plumbing pipe, meals deprived and mouths taped shut to keep them from talking to each other."

When I read articles about an abuser murdering an intimate partner, excuses are almost always offered as explanations of the homicide. The excuses are usually mental illness, alcohol or drugs, or a snap decision in the heat of the moment (which usually takes away the possibility of a first degree murder charge).

No excuse in the world exists for murdering a child or an intimate partner.

You can read more at http://www.newsobserver.com/news/crime_safety/paddock/story/1087537.html