What's Up With That?

I have been doing research on domestic violence and children this past week on the internet. I came across a website that sparks interest in my psychologist brain. I'm not going to share the link here because it's not a website that I want to promote. It's pretty common when doing internet research to come across some strange sites. The homepage of this site was showing an altered version of the original power and control wheel that implicated the entire battered women's movement for ignoring women's violence and ignoring men as victims of domestic violence. The site had quite a few posts about this altered power and control wheel all but one giving a "thumbs up" for finding fault with the battered women's movement.

The thing that I find fascinating is that any time I have come across a site complaining about the battered women's movement, it usually is filled with vitriol directed towards the women and men who work in the movement. Further, the sites usually have some mention of how male victims are ignored and how "the system" is biased towards women. The sites never have photographs of injuries of men who have been battered. They never have testimonials of men who are battered. What they do have is what this site had. Lots of posts from people complaining about the evils of the "domestic violence industry". Lots of people saying "here, here" for saying that the battered women's movement is detrimental and harmful to men and tells lies about the degree of violence against women. If the site really is about helping men who are battered, then why do they spend so much time attacking the battered women's movement? Why don't they spend that web page space and time helping battered men know where to get help, know how to recognize abuse, know that they don't deserve abuse? Why don't these sites ever have information for gay men in battering relationships?

Could it be that they don't use the space that way because the point of the site is to attack the battered women's movement and not to offer help and support to men who are battered. That's the conclusion that I draw after looking at the site.

Some clarifications: Men who are victims of abuse can call domestic violence crisis lines for help. Anyone who is a victim of abuse or wants to help a loved one who is a victim of abuse can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Domestic violence crisis centers will help both women and men who are victims of abuse from an intimate partner. Even if their shelter will not accept men, they will offer crisis counseling, court advocacy, and assistance finding shelter in other locations. I worked for a crisis center for 9 years and in that 9 years, some men did call for assistance for domestic violence. None of them ever requested or needed shelter. That's true for most victims of abuse. Most victims who call a crisis center are not calling for shelter. They are calling for someone to listen and validate them.

If you are a victim of abuse and in need of help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline or visit www.ndvh.org. If you are a teen who is being abused, you can visit www.loveisrespect.org or you can call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474(1-866-331-8453 TTY) or chat online from 4pm - 2am CST.