Friday Night at the Magistrate

The Story Unfolds
When I give domestic violence presentations, I make a point of letting the audience know that they can ask their questions throughout the workshop instead of having a Q/A section at the end. I like workshops where there is time for dialog and participation. It helps to have a handle on how much the audience is learning and absorbing. It also is helpful to know if you are on the same page or not.

On more than one occasion in a workshop, a participant has commented that victims of abuse go to the magistrate on Friday night to get a warrant for the arrest of their partner. The participant then goes on to say that the person is getting the warrant so that they can get their partner out of the house for the weekend and then have their lover can come spend the weekend with them.

This is amazing to me as a trainer because it's such an elaborate explanation. The logic has more holes in it than a sieve. It's helpful to probe this further with the audience so that they can go through the steps and see what a strange explanation this is.

The Steps
First, one has to go to the magistrate on Friday night stating that some sort of illegal abuse has occurred. The magistrate has to believe you in order to issue the warrant. Most magistrates are looking for some sort of proof or evidence. They want to know if the police were called or if there were witnesses. They want to know if there are any marks or injuries. When I asked about this at one workshop, the particpant said that women hit themselves to make marks so that the magistrate will issue the warrant.

The magistrate issues a warrant and a law enforcement officer is sent out to make an arrest. The idea is that the person will spend the entire weekend in jail because there is no sitting judge to have a bond hearing. The bond hearing can't take place until Monday morning.

Now, the person making the report to the magistrate is free to do as they please all weekend long now that their partner is out of the house. According to this theory, the person parties all weekend long with their lover never having to worry about their partner who is locked up.

Monday Morning
What happens on Monday morning in this scenario? Does the lover leave only to wait for the next weekend? Does the partner post bond, get out and come home and the couple resumes their life? This is really odd. Are the magistrate and the two lovers the only ones who know what's going on? What is this partner who sat in jail for two days thinking? It's hard to believe that the couple just picks up where they left off on Friday until the next weekend or next time the person decides they need their partner out of the house for the weekend.

Amazing Lengths
This scenario is so far-fetched. And yet, I hear this all over the state of NC in many workshops. This is the lengths that we'll go to so that we don't have to believe battered women. For people who buy into this, it's more reasonable to believe that people make up elaborate abuse stories and then beat themselves to get partners out of the house for a weekend than to believe they have been abused. That scheme is more believable than thinking that an abuser got off work at 5pm on Friday, came home and started abusing their partner, who then went to the place they are encouraged to go to for help.

The Fallout
The story, or perhaps it could be called an urban legend/rural myth, helps keep the focus on victims and portrays them as liars who abuse the system. It keeps the focus off of abusers and their behavior. The story justifies our doing nothing. It justifies not believing victims. It paints victims as imaginary - a group of people not to be trusted. For the sake of being inclusive, I have left gender out so far, but let's get real. It's mostly women who are the brunt of this bad joke. It's mostly women who are the victims of domestic violence who are coming to the system for help - and what are we giving them? Disbelief and anger at them for "abusing" the system. When we refuse to believe battered women and offer them the help that they need to be safe, we are the ones who are abusing the system.